The Journey

This past week Ryan was officially offered the Communication Assistants position at First E Free Church in West County. We feel extremely blessed and are very excited about this opportunity. He had his first day on Thursday and came home excited and feeling fulfilled. It really feels like this is going to be a great fit for him and our family and the kind of job we had been dreaming of. The one tough thing about the position is that we need to attend E Free and leave our home church of 8 years, The Journey. I felt compelled to write our story, to tell of our relationship with this church before saying goodbye this weekend.

There has been good, bad, ugly and beautiful that has come out of our time.

The beautiful things that have happened, our marriage grew and we stayed together for almost 8 years now and our church had a big hand in that. We have had four children, dedicated them to God here, taught them about Jesus and had some amazing people love on them. We have met people who love Jesus and love us and truly live the gospel. And we have some amazing pastors who have imparted lots of wisdom to us.

There has been a tiny bit of ugly but it was also followed by beauty. When you live in community with people and share your lives sometimes you don't get along. Sometimes you have misunderstandings and arguments. There have been some ugly times with those kinds of situations but, I can honestly say God has brought restoration through all of them and that is beautiful.

There have been hard times. One of the happiest times in our lives was when Ryan was employed for the church. We bought our first house, had two kids, got a dog. We were on mission and it was fulfilling. When his position was no longer needed and they let Ryan go it started off what ended up being the hardest two years of our life. Two weeks prior to them letting him go we found out we were pregnant with Gavyn and it went from joy to hurt, wondering what the heck God was thinking letting us get pregnant with no income. The rest of that year was beyond stressful financially. And of course after Gavyn was born our life got even more complicated. I felt utterly abandoned by God and our church during a lot of that time. Rough is an understatement. But God pulled us through and the fall after Gavyn was born we landed in the most amazing community group.

That community group has made the last two years at the church amazing. We have formed some very strong bonds and God has used that group of people to show me what the church is supposed to look like. After Ryan got let go the easy thing would have been to turn our back on the church but we didn't and I'm so glad we didn't because we would have never met any of those people. They restored my faith in a lot of things. I don't know if any of them will ever know how important they are to me and how much I love them.

Another great thing about the Journey, the pastors. We have had a lot of them! Amazing teachers, brilliant debaters, Jesus lovers. Right now I believe the Tower Grove campus is blessed with the best team of pastors a church could ask for. Jeremy is an amazing teacher and a compassionate leader. Josh Wilson has the biggest heart of any man I have ever met. Jeff and Amber have a beautiful family and heart for Jesus that draws you in and they make you feel like family. I could go on and on but know that if you attend or are thinking of attending the Tower Grove campus there are men there who will love you and lead you well.

That seems like a good note to end on. I am sure I could write a novel on this subject but I won't. Just know we loved this church, this church loved us, it was never and will never be perfect though, because it is just like every other place on this earth full of broken sinners. But that's ok because it is full of people genuinely trying to make a difference, to grow, to learn, to be like Jesus. We will miss it.

Home Birth

I just watched the documentary 'The Business of Being Born' with Rikki Lake and found it super interesting but, a little misleading at times. I am not going to lie, I like to shock people now and again and when I tell people I had three of my four kids at home, it gets a good reaction. There was a lot of history in the movie about our country and how birthing has changed and how dramatically fast it happened. Some of it I knew but some of it was shocking. The information on how many infant deaths our country has in comparison to others was disturbing. If someone has a bad home birth experience you hear about it, it's national news but what about all these babies dying in hospitals? No one knows about that. Anyway.... I would recommend it. Can I give a little insight though? Here's my two cents.

First thing I have to clear up - I get asked all the time. I did not birth any of my four kids in the bath tub or any kind of water what-so-ever. I'm not a fan of the water birth thing. I actually gave birth the same way all four times, in my bed (hospital bed the last time), propped up with pillows. And contrary to what they say in the documentary that did not seem to make it any harder on me or the kiddos. I get what they were saying but the whole squat and slide out thing didn't work for me. Just saying.

Second - I was never naked giving birth! Seriously! What was with all those women being naked? Every time Ryan walked in the room - another pregnant lady in labor buck naked! He couldn't believe it, he asked me, what's up with that?! Haha....

I had to clear that up.

And you might be wondering what my over all thoughts of home birthing are after Gav. Would I recommend it? Would I do it again?

Yes and yes.

Here's why... If you get proper prenatal care and all of your tests done to make sure you and baby are healthy there should be no reason to question home birth. Giving birth is not a scary medical thing. It's a perfectly natural occurrence that our bodies are designed to do and handle. It is truly the most amazing, life altering experience. Giving birth was the most affirming, empowering experience of my life. I am woman - hear my labor groans! Again, if you and baby are healthy, baby is in a good position, home birth it up girl!

And if I was not a GroupB carrier I would totally do home birth again, if there is ever an again. Sadly, I can't take the chance with GroupB and sadly there probably won't be another time.

And after saying that, hospital births do not all have to be horrible, like the documentary leads you to believe. My birth with Gideon was really wonderful. You need to be admit about what you want, you have to know your stuff and you might have to be a bitch, sorry, but don't let them push you around. No one talked me into anything, I had to talk them into stuff. I know that was because of my history and things turned out a little shocking but it's also because I didn't let them push me around. I told them no about a number of things and you can too. You make your birth experience. Make it what you want it to be.

Fill in the blanks

I feel like this blog needs a quick run down on everyone in the fam!

Ryan.... Business is going rather well and hopefully within the next month we will have some announcements to make. :) His photo blog Found on Cherokee is debuting on PBS this Sunday afternoon! They interviewed him and filmed he and Skyler taking pictures. Check it out from 1-4!!! He has taken up running again and it's nice to see him doing something for himself like that.

Skyler... He has turned into quite the little math whiz. Today he was super proud to show me his completed math page (about 15 problems) "with no mistakes, no help and no abacus!" I am super proud of him and excited to see him so excited about school and a certain subject. He has so many friends at school and the kids on our street. This summer is going to be great to let him just go play outside with kids. He is also getting super big - 97th percentile for his height and 60 something percentile for weight. Next year he will be as big as me and I wish that was more of a joke than it really is.

Nevin... He is doing great in school and with all his therapy. Within the last couple weeks he has really taken to video games. It's amazing to me to watch him play and how quickly he is picking it up. Now Skyler has to take turns with the wii and it's good for all of them. Nev is also crazy about the pool at Carondelet Y. He is getting really good at holding his breath under water for a long time! He loves the green slide and of course the water guns. He is a little fish and needs to take swim lessons!

Gavyn... Still our little cutie pie. He is loving school and Journey Kids! He talks about them both ALL the time and it is so sweet. He tells me about his friends and what they did and what kind of snack they had. I could die from his cuteness. He also loves to talk about zombies and shooting them with his gun and how they are always in his bed. Oh. My. Gosh. It's hysterical. Mostly because he doesn't even really know what zombies are but was told. He cracks me up all day long.

Gideon... Baby monster is what I affectionately call him. Between the crazy screams and sounds and the attacking of your face he loves to do, it fits. He is sweet but wild! He figured crawling out the week before Easter. Figured out pulling up. Is figuring out cruising. Today he was standing in his crib when I went to get him. He's a mover and a shaker. It's so wonderful and refreshing to have a typically developing baby and I treasure every moment. I give him three more weeks and then he will walk.

And me.... Keeping busy! Still working out 5 mornings a week at 5! It's crazy but really good. Driving the kids everywhere, making doctor and therapy appt all the time and chasing after them. Trying to blog as much as I can and be a voice for special needs, my other blog has over 5000 hits and that's exciting! My big projects right now are simple landscaping and decorating the dinning room/my studio, should be fun!