Saturday, August 24, 2013

Mommy time

Today is mommy day! I got to leave the house early this am, go out for breakfast with my wonderful sis-in-law and cousin and then have the rest of the afternoon to myself! My mom even invited us over for dinner which means no cooking! I scored big on that l one. Can you tell I'm excited? Lots of !!!! going on. It has been a great day to relax and refresh. Did a little shopping, a little driving, lots of blogging and coffee drinking. It has been a great day for an introvert to be introverted. I love our home, I love all our boys, I love that we have an open door policy, I love having our friend live with us. I also love being an introvert and sitting by myself having quiet. I get energy from being quiet and being alone and with a family of 6 +1 there is not a lot of that. I needed time alone to be me, to not talk, to think, to enjoy. I'm soaking it up. Now, I'm going to finish my coffee and read The Hobbit. Can't get more introverted than that! 

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Contentment

Hey friends! Just a few thoughts I have had over the last month.

Ryan started his job the first week of May and it is so exciting to see him come home and be happy about work. Not just happy but excited and content. He is just where he needs to be. It is so great that he works not just in a great office but at a great church with people who genuinely care about our family. When we had the fall out with Nevin's surgery his boss was actually upset for us, we have never really experienced that. It is so awesome and just a breath, a wind, of fresh air on our family. There has been so much less stress for Ryan which in turn is less stress for me and less stress for the kids. I feel like we are all just sighing in relief.

It was two years this past weekend that we bought and moved into our new house. I feel like we have been here for forever though! I miss our neighbors from Loughborough like crazy but that is the only thing I miss! I really love our house. I was remembering when we first walked in with our agent to see the house. Ryan was quiet, I was quiet, we just walked from room to room, looked (stared) at the great back yard, finally stopped and just looked at each other and our agent like, "This is it, can this seriously be our house?" We went back and forth quite a bit with the owner and bidding on the house. I would drive by every day and sit in our van across the street and pray that we would get the house. The owner actually turned down our final offer and I wrote a letter to him telling him how we had three boys and loved the house, the neighborhood, the school district and that we couldn't offer more and would he please accept our offer. Obviously he did. I still don't believe we actually own this home.

Even with all the ups and downs for Nevin and Gavyn and their health and different procedures we need to get done they are both little super heros. They just keep going, keep learning, keep trying, and are the best of friends. I told Ryan the other night, even when we have a set back I just have to keep going. I can't focus on the things that were supposed to happen or should have happened or the crap doctor we got, because eventually we will find a fabulous one that will keep moving us forward. It's like that movie, Meet The Robinsons, you have to keep moving forward.

Around here ... we don't look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we're curious ... and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.
WALT DISNEY, closing credits of Meet the Robinsons

Friday, April 26, 2013

The Journey

This past week Ryan was officially offered the Communication Assistants position at First E Free Church in West County. We feel extremely blessed and are very excited about this opportunity. He had his first day on Thursday and came home excited and feeling fulfilled. It really feels like this is going to be a great fit for him and our family and the kind of job we had been dreaming of. The one tough thing about the position is that we need to attend E Free and leave our home church of 8 years, The Journey. I felt compelled to write our story, to tell of our relationship with this church before saying goodbye this weekend.

There has been good, bad, ugly and beautiful that has come out of our time.

The beautiful things that have happened, our marriage grew and we stayed together for almost 8 years now and our church had a big hand in that. We have had four children, dedicated them to God here, taught them about Jesus and had some amazing people love on them. We have met people who love Jesus and love us and truly live the gospel. And we have some amazing pastors who have imparted lots of wisdom to us.

There has been a tiny bit of ugly but it was also followed by beauty. When you live in community with people and share your lives sometimes you don't get along. Sometimes you have misunderstandings and arguments. There have been some ugly times with those kinds of situations but, I can honestly say God has brought restoration through all of them and that is beautiful.

There have been hard times. One of the happiest times in our lives was when Ryan was employed for the church. We bought our first house, had two kids, got a dog. We were on mission and it was fulfilling. When his position was no longer needed and they let Ryan go it started off what ended up being the hardest two years of our life. Two weeks prior to them letting him go we found out we were pregnant with Gavyn and it went from joy to hurt, wondering what the heck God was thinking letting us get pregnant with no income. The rest of that year was beyond stressful financially. And of course after Gavyn was born our life got even more complicated. I felt utterly abandoned by God and our church during a lot of that time. Rough is an understatement. But God pulled us through and the fall after Gavyn was born we landed in the most amazing community group.

That community group has made the last two years at the church amazing. We have formed some very strong bonds and God has used that group of people to show me what the church is supposed to look like. After Ryan got let go the easy thing would have been to turn our back on the church but we didn't and I'm so glad we didn't because we would have never met any of those people. They restored my faith in a lot of things. I don't know if any of them will ever know how important they are to me and how much I love them.

Another great thing about the Journey, the pastors. We have had a lot of them! Amazing teachers, brilliant debaters, Jesus lovers. Right now I believe the Tower Grove campus is blessed with the best team of pastors a church could ask for. Jeremy is an amazing teacher and a compassionate leader. Josh Wilson has the biggest heart of any man I have ever met. Jeff and Amber have a beautiful family and heart for Jesus that draws you in and they make you feel like family. I could go on and on but know that if you attend or are thinking of attending the Tower Grove campus there are men there who will love you and lead you well.

That seems like a good note to end on. I am sure I could write a novel on this subject but I won't. Just know we loved this church, this church loved us, it was never and will never be perfect though, because it is just like every other place on this earth full of broken sinners. But that's ok because it is full of people genuinely trying to make a difference, to grow, to learn, to be like Jesus. We will miss it.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Home Birth

I just watched the documentary 'The Business of Being Born' with Rikki Lake and found it super interesting but, a little misleading at times. I am not going to lie, I like to shock people now and again and when I tell people I had three of my four kids at home, it gets a good reaction. There was a lot of history in the movie about our country and how birthing has changed and how dramatically fast it happened. Some of it I knew but some of it was shocking. The information on how many infant deaths our country has in comparison to others was disturbing. If someone has a bad home birth experience you hear about it, it's national news but what about all these babies dying in hospitals? No one knows about that. Anyway.... I would recommend it. Can I give a little insight though? Here's my two cents.

First thing I have to clear up - I get asked all the time. I did not birth any of my four kids in the bath tub or any kind of water what-so-ever. I'm not a fan of the water birth thing. I actually gave birth the same way all four times, in my bed (hospital bed the last time), propped up with pillows. And contrary to what they say in the documentary that did not seem to make it any harder on me or the kiddos. I get what they were saying but the whole squat and slide out thing didn't work for me. Just saying.

Second - I was never naked giving birth! Seriously! What was with all those women being naked? Every time Ryan walked in the room - another pregnant lady in labor buck naked! He couldn't believe it, he asked me, what's up with that?! Haha....

I had to clear that up.

And you might be wondering what my over all thoughts of home birthing are after Gav. Would I recommend it? Would I do it again?

Yes and yes.

Here's why... If you get proper prenatal care and all of your tests done to make sure you and baby are healthy there should be no reason to question home birth. Giving birth is not a scary medical thing. It's a perfectly natural occurrence that our bodies are designed to do and handle. It is truly the most amazing, life altering experience. Giving birth was the most affirming, empowering experience of my life. I am woman - hear my labor groans! Again, if you and baby are healthy, baby is in a good position, home birth it up girl!

And if I was not a GroupB carrier I would totally do home birth again, if there is ever an again. Sadly, I can't take the chance with GroupB and sadly there probably won't be another time.

And after saying that, hospital births do not all have to be horrible, like the documentary leads you to believe. My birth with Gideon was really wonderful. You need to be admit about what you want, you have to know your stuff and you might have to be a bitch, sorry, but don't let them push you around. No one talked me into anything, I had to talk them into stuff. I know that was because of my history and things turned out a little shocking but it's also because I didn't let them push me around. I told them no about a number of things and you can too. You make your birth experience. Make it what you want it to be.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Fill in the blanks

I feel like this blog needs a quick run down on everyone in the fam!

Ryan.... Business is going rather well and hopefully within the next month we will have some announcements to make. :) His photo blog Found on Cherokee is debuting on PBS this Sunday afternoon! They interviewed him and filmed he and Skyler taking pictures. Check it out from 1-4!!! He has taken up running again and it's nice to see him doing something for himself like that.

Skyler... He has turned into quite the little math whiz. Today he was super proud to show me his completed math page (about 15 problems) "with no mistakes, no help and no abacus!" I am super proud of him and excited to see him so excited about school and a certain subject. He has so many friends at school and the kids on our street. This summer is going to be great to let him just go play outside with kids. He is also getting super big - 97th percentile for his height and 60 something percentile for weight. Next year he will be as big as me and I wish that was more of a joke than it really is.

Nevin... He is doing great in school and with all his therapy. Within the last couple weeks he has really taken to video games. It's amazing to me to watch him play and how quickly he is picking it up. Now Skyler has to take turns with the wii and it's good for all of them. Nev is also crazy about the pool at Carondelet Y. He is getting really good at holding his breath under water for a long time! He loves the green slide and of course the water guns. He is a little fish and needs to take swim lessons!

Gavyn... Still our little cutie pie. He is loving school and Journey Kids! He talks about them both ALL the time and it is so sweet. He tells me about his friends and what they did and what kind of snack they had. I could die from his cuteness. He also loves to talk about zombies and shooting them with his gun and how they are always in his bed. Oh. My. Gosh. It's hysterical. Mostly because he doesn't even really know what zombies are but was told. He cracks me up all day long.

Gideon... Baby monster is what I affectionately call him. Between the crazy screams and sounds and the attacking of your face he loves to do, it fits. He is sweet but wild! He figured crawling out the week before Easter. Figured out pulling up. Is figuring out cruising. Today he was standing in his crib when I went to get him. He's a mover and a shaker. It's so wonderful and refreshing to have a typically developing baby and I treasure every moment. I give him three more weeks and then he will walk.

And me.... Keeping busy! Still working out 5 mornings a week at 5! It's crazy but really good. Driving the kids everywhere, making doctor and therapy appt all the time and chasing after them. Trying to blog as much as I can and be a voice for special needs, my other blog has over 5000 hits and that's exciting! My big projects right now are simple landscaping and decorating the dinning room/my studio, should be fun!

Monday, March 11, 2013

Nothing Much

This past weekend was full. Skyler has started swimming lessons and he loves it! The instructor is a dude and all the kids in the class are boys. Yikes! I'm actually thankful for that. I always appreciate when they can have a male anything. Early education and peds are so heavily run by women, which is totally awesome, but with 4 boys I love it when they get a guy to do things with or talk to. That was one of the main reasons I picked a highly recommended male pediatrician. Hopefully he will be their doc for a long time and I want them to be comfortable talking about anything with him. Anyway, end rant here.

While Skyler does swim lessons Ryan and I have been going to counseling which is awesome. Our counselor is this super trendy hipster guy that is really easy to talk to but really good at telling us to get our crap together. And of course we have church on Saturday nights and that is always a good time. I love that our CG and my parents all go to the same service and sit together. In a church as large as ours it is nice to be known. Ya know? :)

Sunday we made a family trip to the Mills Mall. It was supposed to be super fun, exciting, eat lunch out, yay! It was slightly a disaster though and I was so glad to leave. I did get some clothes which was awesome and lunch was yummy but, Nev was being a little pill box and really not feeling being there. That always makes everything hard and I think we were all relieved to say goodbye mall and head to grandma's house. The rest of the afternoon was spent hanging at my mom's and celebrating Tina's birthday with her and Matt, Chad and Chrystal. It was a good time had by all and some freakin good food. Slight food coma after it was all done.

I wound down the evening by doing a tax return, watching some 30 Rock and heading to bed early. After lasts weeks sickness I didn't work out at all. Ouch. This week will be so much better! Opened it up with a swim and plan on doing some weight training this afternoon. Go me.

Hope everyone else had a lovely weekend and is ready to start this week strong with some extra daylight!

Friday, March 1, 2013

Sweet Baby Gideon

 My sweet little surprise Gideon Grey is already 8 months old. Seems like a few weeks ago I was cuddling him in the hospital. Isn't he super precious in this picture? I miss that newborn stage when they fit right under your chin like that and smell like a sweet new baby. I was very conscious of soaking up those moments with him because I knew they would be gone too soon. 

 
I love all four of my boys very, very much but... I will not lie there is a special little something about Gid. I always pictured myself with four kids but Ryan was never hip on that idea and after our struggles with Gav and Nev I was scared to have another myself. When we found out I was pregnant the entire pregnancy was a roller coaster of emotions for me. The day he was born I was so excited to finally get my hands on him and cuddle him. It was the sweetest moment to look at him and see he was ok and that there were no complications. It was a big sigh of relief. I'm not saying he's my favorite, I'm just saying he is my little buddy and will be spoiled as the baby of the family for as long as I can get away with it. I mean, look at that face!


He has just been a joy, pure joy. There is no denying that he is a momma's boy and I love it! The other boys loved me but were not what I would label a 'momma's boy'. Gideon on the other hand is a momma's boy. Now that he is big and strong he will literally shove other people who pick him up to try and catapult himself to me. Love. I already told Ryan we will save money on preschool because the other three boys will be in school full time when he is ready for preschool and I can keep him home and do it here. I'm not sending my baby away anytime soon. He is too sweet and just loves to be in my company. Most days he is permanently attached to my hip going with the flow helping me get stuff done. Although, crawling is probably gonna happen in two-three weeks from now. That boy is a scooting and a wiggling and a shaking! He can go backwards on his belly the length of our house and it won't be long before he figures out how to propel himself forward and to pull up on everything in the house. I can't wait. Seriously. I love a crawling baby. Before long he will be one and I will have no idea where this first year went. Ah! I love him to death and could squeeze him all day. Just saying.